Mr. Corbett, here is an update from your former "career."

Dear Mr. Corbett,

Today was rather low key, as my students had a test, giving me time to do some of my work during my paid hours. Therefore, there was only a total of 6 unpaid hours of work during the morning at school, over my lunch break, during my prep, in the afternoon at school, and tonight at home. Of course, if I don't find more unpaid time to work soon, I'm just going to keep falling behind in the papers I have to grade, and then I won't have time for my grad school work that I need to do, either.

Anyway, I had heard you were a teacher at one point, and—my apologies—I had great difficulties believing it. So I checked it out. Apparently, it is a fact you are proud of.  To quote your own press release:  "Corbett’s time spent as a public school teacher showed him the importance of making sure every child has a good education." I wasn't aware of all of your teaching experience, Mr. Corbett.

Funny thing is, it was much harder to find information on where you taught, and for how long.  Imagine my surprise, then, when I found out that your "teaching experience" was one year of ninth grade civics right after you graduated college in the early 1970's at a school district that still has only one elementary school!

Your press release even went so far as to claim that you have "seen Pennsylvania through the eyes of" a teacher. Perhaps, for one year, four decades ago. 

Since you haven't used that part of your "vision" for the past 40 years (far long than any teacher at my school has taught, mind you), perhaps its time to update your contact lens prescription.


Here's some of the changes that have happened since the year after the Beatles broke up and you stopped teaching, Mr. Corbett:

• Calculators. Remember the days of slide rules and memorizing sine and cosine charts? I sure as heck don't. My dad saved up and spent a fortune to buy a basic calculator for college in the mid-1970's.  Now, the basic ones are made in China and available at the Dollar Store. The advanced onces can even graph!
• Computers. The microprocessor was invented the year you graduated from college and taught, leading to the modern computer a few decades later. These are really amazing things these days, and they've only improved since Al Gore invented the Internet. Now, students can do whole projects on the computer and lay them out graphically.  It's amazing technology for schools, or, so I hear.  You see, I don't have computers available at all times for my students, so we still do stuff on paper.
• Copiers. Remember the purple ditto machines, or were those after your time? Last time I saw those being used was in the late 1980's by my elementary teachers. The new copiers even staple or make a three hole punch (when they are working...)!
• Interior walls. The absurdity that was the "open classroom" idea so strongly pushed in the 1970's failed miserably across the nation after you left your nine month teaching career. As someone who spent two years teaching in a remnant of the concept (a partitioned classroom), I can assure you that it was an idea with good intentions that was taken too far and led to little improvements, you know, just like the heavy dependence on standardized testing.  Oh, wait, you don't still think that constantly filling in bubbles is the answer, do you?
• Integrated schools. In 1971, the Supreme Court allowed forced busing of students for the purpose of creating desegregated schools. That issue has, for the most part, been resolved for a few decades now.
• Teacher salaries.  Remember how I was a little upset that you wanted to cut our pensions, Mr. Corbett? The average teacher salary was under $10,000 in 1970, according to the US Department of Labor. Today, it's around $47,000. Wow, we're really making out, some would think. However, if you calculate the cost of living, the 1970 wage is equivalent to $55,000 today.  Where's my extra $8,000, Mr. Corbett?  It was there when you were a teacher for nine months.
• Tests. Yeah, the magic solution. Standardized tests weren't a concern when you taught for nine months. When I was in high school, they still weren't taken seriously: I answered the simple math questions using advanced physics formulas, and then showed the work that the test graders wanted to see in the corner. Today's teachers lose about a month of teaching to simple test administration and teaching test-taking skills. Want to see student improvement? Can you find a way to let us teach?
• Big hair. It is gone. Trust me, it's a good thing. Some of the big hair bands have held on, though. Nothing wrong with that!
• Parent(s). First, they both started getting jobs. Then, they started getting divorces. Now, the poor children are lucky if they know their father. You should come back to teach and try to make solid parent contact when the only person you can talk to is the mother's boyfriend.
• Electronics.  How many times did you deal with cyberbullying and sexting during your nine month tenure, Mr. Corbett? You mean Facebook didn't exist back then?  How did you contact your friends if you couldn't text them the answers to the test on your two inch mobile device which is all but impossible to see when it is in your sweatshirt?
• Teacher Certification. The Lebanon Daily News stated that you graduated with a bachelor's in political science, but it is mysteriously devoid of any mention of an education major. Did you have to go through the PRAXIS tests? The practicum? The students with exceptionalities practicum? The pre-student teaching practicum? The student teaching? Did you have to maintain a certain GPA? Were there laws that prohibited you from being a teacher if you drank underage? Probably not, considering that you were in a Fraternity and, according to your college friends, enjoyed the parties. My college didn't even have fraternities.

Honestly, when I heard that you taught in the same year that the Nasdaq stock market index debuted, I instantly thought of a 1955 book I had been given as a gift by the owner of the Cupboard Maker Books. She's one of the most knowledgeable bibliophiles I have ever met. When I first started teaching, she handed me Behavior and Misbehavior: A Teacher's Guide to Action. (In all fairness, 1955 is far more contemporary to your year of teaching than 2010.) The book is broken into two major chapters, one of which is "Teaching Discipline to Stable Children." Mr. Corbett, half of my students aren't sure where their next meal is coming from. I'm not sure "stable" is a good choice of words anymore.  Teaching has changed, Mr. Corbett. Why don't you ask some teachers and find out for yourself?  If you're willing to learn, we're willing to teach.

Sincerely,

Nately Scott